A Back to School Parody: T’was the Night Before School

Back to School Parady

During the chaos of a new school year we all need a laugh. Derived from the Christmas classic we present to you, “T’was the Night Before School”.

T’was the night before school, when mom sat in the house, enjoying the silence. It was quiet as a mouse

The backpacks were stuffed by the door with supplies, that mom got at Target and on special buys.

The children at 8:30 we resentful in their covers, not happy to be there early but had to listen to their mothers.

Daddy was watching football, and I with my glass of red, toasted to another new school year ahead.

When out of the blue I remembered school lunches. So I packed veggie kabobs and grapes in green bunches.

Back to School

It’s back to school after all, lunches must be rad. Because by the month of May they are just plain bad.

But for now organic juice boxes for each and every one. They are lucky to even get a drink by the time the year is done.

Then what did I remember as I slapped my hand to my face? My kinder must wear yellow or she’ll be out of place.

Of course it’s the only color we didn’t buy in the mall, I mumbled to myself as I tiptoed through the hall.

I look for a shirt in her top dresser drawer.  I must find something now, its too late to go to the store.

Back to School

I found teal, I found steel, found sky, and tye-dye. I found cherry and raspberry, I also found lime. Oh why didn’t I order from amazon prime.

Then I remembered a tee shirt belonging to her bro. I snatched it right quick and cut it up like a pro.

I was done at 10:30. It had tassels and knots. I gave myself kudos because that shirt totally rocks.

After going through my checklist, I headed up to bed. I was feeling pretty sleepy after that second glass of red.

As I crawled in the covers and laid my head down, thoughts of the next day swirled round and round.

There would be pandemonium and in the bathroom chaotic bustle, as everyone got ready in their new morning hustle.

Fruit loops

There will be froot loops, cinnamon toast, don’t forget pancakes. Why can’t we all just eat the same thing for goodness sakes.

The craziness will continue as we load up the SUV. We’re almost there I’ll whisper as I turn the ignition key.

Traffic will be gridlock. But what will I see? A parking spot, yes, and it will belong to me.

school traffic

I’ll cut of one car, maybe two, maybe three.  It’s not my first rodeo sister, on time I will be.

To their classrooms they will go, but what will I receive?  Seventy-two pages of paperwork before I can leave.

The homework to come, well that’s something I dread.  Common core makes so much sense, no one ever said.

Then again, who cares, “oh the freedom” I will say.  The first day of school is the most glorious day.

With a smile on my face, I turn out the light.  Happy school year to all and to all a good school night.

BAck to School

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